Things not to say… to a woman during an argument

  1. Don’t you have some laundry to do, or something?
  2. No, really, I was laughing about…this joke I heard one time.
  3. *Point the remote control and repeatedly press the mute button*
  4. Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset.
  5. You’re just upset because your caboose is starting to spread.
  6. Wait a minute, I get it… What time of the month is it?
  7. Are you gonna cry? Force lip to quiver mockingly? Cry for your mommy?
  8. You sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
  9. Sorry, I was just picturing you naked.
  10. That reminds me. Next time you go to the store, could you add ‘giant cork’ to the shopping list?
  11. Whoa, time out honey, Frasier’s back.
  12. Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning.
  13. Is there anyway we could do this via e-mail?
  14. Hey baby-if I want a lecture about commitment, I can get one from my real wife.
  15. I could so use some oral sexual stimulation right now.
  16. Whom are you kidding? We both know that thing isn’t loaded.

Please note we are most definitely NOT responsible for the consequences if you actually try one of these during an argument to see what happens.

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